【参考范文1】
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me.Tapping him gently on the shoulder, I asked David what had caused him to decide to give up the opportunity. Having hesitated for a moment, he replied in a low voice, “You know, I run very slowly and my running posture is ugly, which will result in others laughing at me.” I smiled, shook my head and said, “That’s just your supposition. As a matter of fact, all the people respect and admire those who overcome their own difficulties and bravely achieve their goals.” “Really?” He seemed to be in doubt about my words. Seeing me nod firmly, he wore his big toothy smile again, his eyes sparkling with excitement and curiosity.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.As soon as the starting gun rang, the children began to run. After a while, David became the last in the team, as we had expected. However, David seemed calm, firm and persistent. During the whole cross-country race, nobody teased him. On the contrary, when he finally reached the finishing line, all the people present cheered for him. It was David’s strong determination and perseverance that helped him become a popular person.
【范文点评】本范文从审题、街接、语言、主题升华等各方面均达到了一篇高质量续写作品的要求。在情节设计上,本范文在准确理解原文的基础上,续写部分内容丰富、合理,富有逻辑性,情节完整,与原文情境融洽度高。使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,例如,in a low voice, result in, in doubt, sparkling with excitement and curiosity, on the contrary 等。有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,上下文连贯。该范文还适当增加了一些合情合理的细节,逻辑合理,内容充实。总之,文章完全达到了预期的写作目的。
【参考范文2】
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me.I broke the silence by asking David, “You are eager to run from deep inside, right?” David turned and looked at me but said nothing. I continued, “I know you’re afraid of being laughed at, but I think it’s a good chance for you to prove yourself. You have been working so hard for the run, and I'm so proud of you, David. If you really want to run, don’t let anything or anybody stop you.” He froze, seeming to think about my suggestion. Finally, eyes sparkling with determination, he said, “I choose to run.”
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.The run began.All the runners rushed forward. David fell behind the other runners after a few minutes. Some of the crowds began whispering. Suddenly, David tripped over a small stone. I hurriedly shouted, “Come on, David.” Unexpectedly, the whisper of crowds transferred into encouragement, “Come on! Come on!” David picked himself up and went all out to move forward. As he crossed the finishing line, all the crowds cheered loudly for him. He earned people's respect through his brave decision and strong determination.






