下水作文 | 2022年秋季高三开学摸底考试卷（浙江专用）02英语试题（读后续写）

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#英语写作

试题原题

2022年秋季高三开学摸底考试卷

（浙江专用）02

英语试题（读后续写）

第二节读后续写(满分25分)

阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。

Growing up on a small farm，I lived a life that I took for granted. My father worked in the city as a plumber(水暖工)．He was not highly educated，but he was smart，looking at problems in an engineer’s way. He was a man made of leather，brass and chewing tobacco who tried to teach my brother and me useful things，including respect. He also had a temper and was strict with us for he would scold us when we made some careless mistakes. Sometimes，my father seemed like a distant enemy to me and I didn’t like him very much.

One day I came home from primary school and his car was already there. Once inside，I was told by my mother that he didn’t feel well. His back hurt. My father never missed work；in fact，when he came home，he went to the barn to work even more. I remember looking at him secretly around the corner as he lay on his bed in the middle of the day.

Later，my mother told me he got multiple myeloma(多发性骨髓瘤)，a type of blood cancer. As the cancer grows，the person will shrink because the disease destroys the body’s energy and the abnormal antibodies cause problems for other cells and tissue. Bones eventually look like Swiss cheese，and when they break，they may never heal. But I didn’t realize that my father’s time was rather limited and just treated him the same way I used to.

For the last year of my father’s life，his entire day consisted of rising from his hospital bed in the living room and walking to his chair to sit and think. He was predictably in that chair when I came home one day during the ninth grade. I do not remember where my mother and brother were，but the two of us were alone.

注意：

1．所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2．应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；

3．续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；

4．续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Paragraph 1：

He asked me to sit down and what he told me still moves me these decades later.

Paragraph 2：

At that moment，I realized that he was doing more than telling.

试

题

分

析

---Hello，August!

█前文分析

●人物

?father：

○worked in the city as a plumber

○was not highly educated，but smart

○a man made of leather，brass and chewing tobacco who tried to teach my brother and me useful things，including respect

○had a temper and was strict with us

○seemed like a distant enemy to me

○ never missed work

○got multiple myeloma

?I:

○lived a life that I took for granted

○didn’t like him very much

○looking at him secretly around the corner as he lay on his bed in the middle of the day

○didn’t realize that my father’s time was rather limited and just treated him the same way I used to

●主要情节

父亲是一个水暖工，为了一家人的冷暖，总是忙于工作，无暇顾及家人，对小孩子的教育总是“严”字当头。我对父亲没什么好感，甚至把他当作“敌人”来对待。后来，父亲病了，母亲告诉我说，父亲得了多发性骨髓瘤（一种血液方面的病），这种病让父亲的身体状况更加糟糕，但是我总是不以为然，也不关心父亲还有多少有生之年。在父亲还在的最后一年，他就只能在病床和椅子之间不断转换。九年级的一天放学回家，屋里只有我跟父亲两人，母亲和哥哥也不知道去了哪里，两人无话可说地呆着。……

●冲突点

如何从不理解父亲到接受并珍惜父亲？

█续写部分

●对两段开头的解读

○ 段1：

He asked me to sit down and what he told me still moves me these decades later.

?关键要突出what he told me，而且still moves me。

○ 段2：

At that moment，I realized that he was doing more than telling.

?如何在这段中体现父亲的doing，虽然现在父亲躺在病床上或只能坐在家里的椅子上。

○考虑行文的合理性方面几个注意点：

①前文最后写的父亲是坐在椅子上的，而且屋里只有父亲和我两人。

②父亲到底说了什么使得我几十年后还清晰记得。

③为什么我认为当时跟父亲的一次长谈不是父亲在“说”故事而是他的真心的“做”。

④对父亲的认识如何从“敌人”转为“父亲”

●可以写些什么

?段1：

①当时父亲的身体状况

②父亲与我分享了他的珍贵的人生经历

③把与父亲的“心结”打开了

?段2：

①回忆过往父亲的所作所为

②现状让我感动

③父亲的爱让我珍藏终生

-试题分析-

下

水

作

文

Hello, August!---

Paragraph 1：

He asked me to sit down and what he told me still moves me these decades later. That was when my father was in a relative good health condition rising from his hospital bed and sitting in his predictable chair. He asked me to go over and sit beside. He shared his past precious life, his deep love for us, his strong belief, etc. That’s the first time when I stayed so close to him since my primary school. And that’s also when I had a deep understanding about why he was always strict with us and why he worked so hard. (85 words)

Paragraph 2：

At that moment，I realized that he was doing more than telling. Indeed, since I was able to remember something, my father was always engaged in chores both in family life and his work, let alone playing with us on the farm. However, his cancer just asked him to slow down his life paces and enjoy such a beautiful life with us, though he suffered a lot. His patient but unspectacular life story moved me, tears welling up in my eyes. What precious but untalkative love from my so-called distant “enemy”, which I would cherish the whole life! (86 words)

-下水作文-

参

考

范

文

---Hello, August!

Paragraph 1:

He asked me to sit down and what he told me still moves me these decades later. Lying on the hospital bed，he told me about his life on the farm，his family，his loves，and his heartbreaks. Although he was tortured by the cancer，his inner self rushed out to me in a great flood as if a pipe had burst all of a sudden. He had been speaking for maybe an hour or more and mentioned that he actually felt regretful about being too strict with us.

Paragraph 2:

At that moment，I realized that he was doing more than telling. He was asking to be forgiven. All it took was to understand that was what he needed，and I forgave everything，immediately. The thought of my father being an enemy disappeared，with tears rolling down on my face. I held my father’s hands tightly，enjoying this deep but quiet love. Although he has gone for a long time，I still always remember that moment and the realization that I love him. (153 words)

-参考范文-

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